I'm starting to believe I have yet to come upon the real thing.
The way I see it, all of my so-called friends are full of shit in their own ways. I don't know what to do anymore. Yes, I love hanging out with them, cracking jokes, getting high. BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT ANYMORE! I want to be sober, I'm starting my life now. Getting a job, going to college. So, if I'm not off cracking jokes and getting high all the time... where does that leave my friends? What do I do with them? Do I really need them?
Maybe this is all just me over thinking things because I'm frustrated and upset at the moment, steaming angry in fact... but don't they always say that a drunken mans words, are a sober mans thoughts?
I'm no longer blinded by my need for happiness, and I can't decide if I'm now blinded by my resentment towards my "friends."
I guess I just need someone to tell me its okay to only worry about me. If I don't look after me, who will?